Layers
by PrincessKairiHikari
Summary: These are a collection of one shots and drabbles centered around the third ranked level five, Misaka Mikoto.
1. Mirrors

Disclaimer: I do not own Toaru Kagaku No Railgun or Toaru Majutsu no Index. None of the characters are mine. The drabble is the only thing that I own. This is a one shot or drabble. I came up with the idea while watching a few AMVs. This last episode of Toaru Kagaku No Railgun S inspired me to finally get around to writing this. Please review and tell me what you think.

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Setting my gaze on the mirror in front of me, a reflection started back to me. Eyes devoid of the emotion that used to be there. The hope that those eyes used to tell of several years ago was nowhere to be found. In its place was a barren wasteland. Narrowing my eyes, I parted my soft lips and spoke with a tone of voice that spoke volumes.

"I hate mirrors."

People say that mirrors reflect the inner person or soul. For me, this doesn't prove to be true. Whenever my eyes meet the pair that is shown by a mirror, it isn't myself that I see. Nothing positive can even come from looking at such a thing. Maybe for someone else, but not me. The person staring back at me might look like myself, but there are a number of differences. I know that if others saw things from my perspective, they would tell me that the blame isn't mine to bear. Helping someone regain their physical strength and avoid death's doorstep was what I wanted to do, right? Still, I can't help but take it for my own. Scientists don't have an innocent role in my life. That much is undeniably true. All they care about is experimenting and discovering. Science sickened me to my very core. However, there is another fact that cannot be looked over. Had I not agreed to giving my DNA map, things would be different. Things would be _so_ much different.

Parting my lips, my gaze slowly moved from the glass of the mirror to the tan colored ceiling. Tan was a neutral color. It didn't promise anything bright or overly upbeat, but it offered a little life. The color wasn't as heavy as black, which in turn meant that darkness would not hover over head. It was a color that went well with my life. I willed my voice to take on a wistful and thoughtful tone. "They'd be better. I wouldn't have been able to save him, but no one would've gotten hurt. I wouldn't be in this mess. They wouldn't have had to worry about facing him." Of course, I meant the sisters that had been created. If they were never created, no experiments would have ever taken place. Thousands of deaths could have been prevented. "There might've been some good to the world. I could've believed in something and I could've made change myself. This darkness wouldn't be hovering over me." A bitter and forced laugh echoed through the dorm room. "Who am I kidding? Things wouldn't have changed that much. Liars will always be around."

Suddenly, a face flashed in my mind. The figure's hair was the color of charcoal and his eyes gave off a feeling of aloofness. Those eyes were so different. They were unlike any I had seen before. His lifestyle was one that I wanted. Well, some of it was what I wanted. How nice it would be to not have to worry about things of the past. To just greet each and every day with an obnoxiously annoying yet happy smile. Jealousy wasn't something I dealt with well. Possibly because I hardly ever felt it. I wanted to be as carefree and laid back as he seemed to be. It was as if he had nothing to worry about. In the end, he believed that things would work out. No matter how strong his opponent was, he held no fear. If anything, his fist was to blame for the strong amount of confidence. Not only had he succeeded where I had failed, but he had also been able to defeat me. I might have been thankful for him changing my personal view and if I was completely honest I would admit that I liked him, but my anger failed to disappear. "Damn him." Gritting my teeth, I wasted no time in bringing my fist to the mirror's surface. The collision sent shards of glass flying past and cracks started to appear in the glass.

Touma was the only one to have really beaten Accelerator. It was a promise he had not failed to keep. Even though I had helped him, it was him who had taken the spotlight. The program wouldn't have come to a halt if he hadn't stuck his nose where it shouldn't have been. Defeating the top level five was what I had wanted to do from the start. Sparring with the level zero was something that I thoroughly enjoyed, but there was no one I wanted to actually destroy more than the albino. I wanted to get revenge and the only thing that would satisfy me was killing him myself. They say that nothing good can come from murder and revenge. Killing will only leave an unfilled hole. I don't care what they say. I want what I want and no one can alter that. "It isn't enough and it won't ever be." His abilities had caused the downfall of far too many. The price needed to be paid. In fact, it should have been paid a while ago. If he was the sinner, then I would be the savior. Not exactly an innocent and guiltless savior, but that didn't matter much in my mind. All that mattered was accomplishing my goal. The odds might have been against me, but I needed to try.

Looking at the cracked mirror, an empty and humorless smile crossed my features. Due to my act of destruction, I could see many reflections of myself. As always, I was reminded of those that I had failed to save, The concealed blood that was on my hands. Those reminders caused my resolve to strengthen. "I'll find him and I'll win this time. If I can't, at least he won't walk away unscathed." It was a vow I would be sure to keep. This time I would not fight on pure anger. Instead, I would fight with determination and a cooled head. What I'm about to do might end up being frowned upon by some of the most important people in my life, but I have never been one to try to please everyone. The piece of furniture was beyond repair. Even if by some miracle it could be fixed, I didn't want it to be. My obnoxious yet loyal roommate could make use of her own personal mirror. I didn't need to be reminded of the level zero's stupidity. Nor did I need to be reminded of the mistakes I had made. Glancing at the mirror one last time, a thought came to mind. "Wasn't there some superstition about breaking mirrors and bad luck?" Releasing a sigh, she gave a small shrug of her shoulders. "Whatever. Rumors and things like that aren't for me. I don't need luck to do what I'm about to do."


	2. Falsities

"Onee-sama?" The sound of my friend's concerned voice pulled me from my thoughts. Glancing around, I was met with the concerned faces of the people I called my friends. Other than my mother, they were really all I had to keep me going through this life. Each person was someone I had opened up to, someone I could trust with a variety of tasks. Yet, this time -**_this_** time- even they couldn't be of use. Not to say that their concern wasn't appreciated. It was quite the opposite. Just having them near made me feel ten times better than I would feel were I to be left alone. They just couldn't fathom what it was I was going through at the moment. If I were to tell them the whole truth, what would they think of me then? Would they see me as a horrible person? Those rumors that were circulating would surely give them such an opinion. I inwardly smiled an empty but pitiful smile at the thought. Telling them everything wasn't an option for me. My future plans regarding the matter could not be shared either.

Blinking my eyes, I slowly parted my lips. "Huh? Did I miss something?" A look was shared among the group and I tried my best to leave my thoughts behind. It was time to focus on keeping up appearances. Kuroko was more likely than any of them to figure out that something was deeply bothering me. That didn't mean that she would find out what exactly was plaguing my mind. Finally, one of my friends spoke up. This time it was Saten, a level zero, but one of the best people that I had met. We had much in common. From our similar height to our love for arcade games. The raven haired girl's emerald eyes carried a recognizable emotion. Concern was as clear as day in those eyes. It brought a smile to my face. One that wasn't full hearted, but not entirely forced either. A nod of my head was given to encourage her to continue.

"We were just talking about going on a day trip next weekend. Somewhere fun and relaxing was what I had in mind. Uiharu wants to go somewhere that has a cake shop." I forced a small laugh and quickly glanced over at the mentioned girl. Seeing me smile caused the corners of her lips to lift into a smile as well. It was just like the younger girl to want to visit that type of a shop. Everyone in our small group was aware of the girl's love for sweets, especially cake. My gaze was drawn towards my roommate when she spoke up again. "I told them that we would have to check our schedules and we'd have to request a day off Judgement duties." A brighter smile came to the teleporter's face. It was the smile that she wore each time she had something perverted on her mind. "If we go somewhere, I'd want to spend time with you and shared desserts. It could be a long awaited date!" There was no doubt that her idea of a date differed from mine. Besides, she already knew I was likely to just bring my fist to her head or electrocute her and decline the request.

However, I couldn't bring myself to give her the usual punishment. My spirits weren't as high as they had been mere weeks ago. Instead, I simply let out a small sigh and shook my head. "Rejected." While a disappointed pout made its way to her face, there was also a hint of surprise in her eyes. Being hit or electrocuted was exactly what she had been expecting. The change might have been welcomed, but she knew something was still wrong with me. Moving my gaze away from her questioning eyes, I looked at Saten once more and smiled. "Going on a day trip sounds like a good idea. Next weekend will work fine. Let's decide on Saturday for now. I've already got a place in mind. We'll just meet at Tokiwadai's gates at noon." My words brought smiles to everyone's faces. Erii seemed to be particularly happy with my words. Sliding out of my seat, I stood up and stretched. Not even a second after that, the curfew announcement sounded throughout the city. It caused a collection of groans to be emitted by my friends. "Come on, let's all start walking back. We can plan more later."

"I'm glad that we got to spend time together. Thank you for inviting me." Erii smiled at me and gave a respectful bow. I gave a dismissive wave of my hand. "Don't worry about it. We're all glad you were able to come." Standing by my side, Kuroko tried to grab my hand. This time, I managed to give her a cold glare. Just like a cowering puppy, she immediately frowned and took a step back before parting her lips to whine. "Onee-sama!" The others laughed and I found myself wanting to laugh with them. "We'll see you all later. The dorm supervisor is strict, so we can't be late." Erii blinked her eyes before curiously voicing a question. "With Shirai-san's ability, can't you just teleport back to the room?" I shook my head from side to side. Before I could voice an answer, my roommate took on the task. "Abilities aren't supposed to be used in the dorm hall. If we're caught, we'll have to clean the pool." The thought made me feel the need to part ways faster. "See you all later." After giving a wave and smiling, I exited the restaurant with Kuroko by my side.

"Is something bothering you? You know that you can always count on me, right?" We both knew the answers to her questions. Something was indeed ailing me and we both knew that I knew she would forever be my support. I smiled at the younger teen before giving a nod of my head. "I know you are, Kuroko. Thanks for always helping out." A pink tint came to her cheeks and she found herself smiling. Just as quickly as they came, the tint departed from her cheeks and the smile vanished. Confusion came to my own eyes as I tilted my head. "What? What's wrong?" The pinkette released a long and drawn out sigh. "Something is still bothering you, isn't it? It has something to do with where you've been going. You were extremely late last night." My mind quickly flashed to last night's events. The tiresome battles that had been fought all for a cause that seemed to be so far gone. I forced a smile and spoke assuring words. "It's nothing. You're just being too paranoid. I went to study for a few exams last night." It was another excuse and another lie. Would the cycle ever come to a halt? The look she gave me was one of skepticism. She clearly didn't believe me. Releasing a sigh of my own, I continued walking. "Just, drop it. We've got to focus on getting back." Even though she was disappointed, she nodded and followed. I hated lying to her, but what choice did I have? I couldn't pull her down into the darkness. Forced smiles and voiced lies were necessary to keep her from falling to the bottomless pits that I had fallen into.


End file.
